Nanay
Posted On Sunday, May 10, 2009 at at 3:10 PM by TAGABUNGTODShe was a mother to her children for 50 years.
Patria Villafuerte Gella, was 22 when she met and married my father who was a 38-year old bachelor helping the guerillas as an army medical officer in the island of Panay. After the war, he forthwith brought her to the fertile hinterlands of Compostela Valley in Mindanao. In a span of 14 years, one child came after another. Six boys in a row and later, two girls. I was the fourth.
My father, in his rumination as a government worker, practically left the care of all the children to my mother. In my father's absence, and in her effort to take control of the situation, more often than not, her only appropriate and convenient response to any breach of conduct was anger.
During my childhood, together with friends, I would always wander into the nearby forest or take a dip in the Cabalinan River where I learned how to swim. She always feared I would either get lost, meet an accident or drown.
As a result of my stubbornness, I was the primary beneficiary of her wrath. She devised so many forms of discouragements and deterrents in her effort to keep me home. One very early weekend morning, she discovered I was gone. When she caught up with me, she tied my leg to a bedpost with a sewing thread! Break it and God knows.....
She even developed a special ability to pinch where it hurts the most. Believe me, my cry of "Aray!" came even before her pinch hits the mark. She somehow got tired of doing it so she tried another tack.
Very early each morning, she assigned me the duty of buying the morning's hot pandesal from Pua's bakery. I loved the errand because I had the privilege to eat a few pieces on my way back home. And on Saturdays when my father would be home, she'd ask me to bring a wicker basket to the market with a list of things to buy. I'd hand the list to her kumadre, Irene Bautista-Fuentes or her sister Lourdes "Dondit" Bautista who did the buying. Meanwhile I would be left to sit with a merienda until the marketing's done. I would then bring the goods home for her to prepare and cook. Being the errand boy and the kitchen assistant, I always get first crack at all the delicious food that resulted from her exceptional culinary ability.
For quite a while I was her aide-de-camp. She was satisfied she finally found an effective way of keeping me home. To strengthen our partnership, she bought two pigs which I would feed every morning and afternoon with a bucketful of tahop and shredded tangkong. When it was time to sell the fattened pigs, we both cried. For my effort and good behavior, she brought me with her on a trip to her home province of Antique. I love to think that I was one of her favorites.
An unforgettable experience happened one summer day which would cement our bond of friendship forever. She asked me to wait for the Coca-Cola "panel" so I could purchase a case of the softdrink. She gave me a P5.00 bill, a fortune at that time, with which to pay the salesman. During the '50s, a case of Coke would cost only P1.80 per case. I placed the money in my pocket. While waiting for the truck to pass by, I took time out to play with neighborhood friends.
Finally the truck came late in the afternoon. After they unloaded a case of the softdrink, I reached for the money in my pocket. It was gone! The salesman reloaded his case of Coke and put back the case of empties beside the road and left. I frantically looked for the P5 and it was getting dark. I told my mother I lost the money. She and my playmates helped me look for it in the grassy field where we were playing. It was a futile search.
When my father knew about it, he was so livid with anger. He didn't believe I lost it. He believed I must have spent it on something else like lastiko, candies etc. All hell broke loose in my very young life that evening. I got the worst thrashing I ever received from him. My mother cried for me. All my brothers cried for me.
Later that night, when everybody else was asleep, my mother roused me from a painful slumber and brought me downstairs to my father's clinic. There, in the dim and flickering light of a kerosene lamp, and with tears welling from her eyes, she carefully and tenderly treated all the welts and bruises all over my back, my buttocks and my legs.
No, I never hated my father for what he did to me. We knew the rules. He was always very strict with all his children. And his goodness as a father far outweighed his sometimes mean temper.
What stuck in my mind that evening though, was not the physical pain that was inflicted on me. What I will forever remember and cherish in my memory was my mother's manifestation of maternal kindness, love, and compassion that I saw through the tears streaming down her face.
Years after our father died, we would get to talking about our individual disciplinary experiences with him. We have learned to laugh about those experiences. But insofar as that incident involving me was concerned, our mother would not contribute a single word. She would only listen with a wistful smile.
In her advanced years, she would be in and out of the hospital. One day there was only the two of us in her hospital room. At one point, while we were talking, she said, if I don't mind at all, she wanted to ask me a question which has been left unanswered in her mind. I told her to go ahead.
For the first time, after that painful night, she tearfully discussed and recalled the "Coca-Cola" incident. She told me how she sensed that my father felt contrite for treating me so harshly that night.
And then she asked the question, "Did you really lose that P5.00?"
I said, "Yes, I did. Why, did you ever doubt me?"
And with more tears in her eyes she said, "No, I always believed you".
That was the last time I saw my Nanay cry for me.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
I immensely enjoyed your story about you and your Mom...I remember seeing your Mom once in a while when i pass by to go to the store right beside your place and I always remember seeing your Dad too...and your two beautiful sisters..I always look forward to reading things in your website TAGABUNGTOD..how I wish you could feature more stories and pictures of Nabunturan...I did came 3 years ago for a visit but not enough days to savour Nabunturan ..I got to see my teachers in elementary..like Mrs Ador my 2nd grade teacher..Mrs Templanza my 4th grade teacher just missed out not being able to see Mrs. Tomas my 6th grade teacher and Mrs Berondo my 1st grade teacher and I was able to see and spend sometime with my high school teachers ..I graduated from NNCHS BATCH 1975,,..one of this days i would like to come and visit again..
PS..you look just like your Dad..
I believe your story but hardly.Knowing you to be amongst the tisoy brods and high ender in km 90 at that time is unimaginable.Buying pan de sal at Pua's, malapit sa maalikabok na daan and without yet those tissue papers to handle these panS in an exposed place is far from being one of YOU huh.What more that part where you had to prepare those hogs' feeds?Ayaw ingna na you pa rin ang nagshred sa kangkong and mixed the tahop with water and served the hogs unspilled?Hala oi grabe na yan ha.What more with you with a wicker basket with exposed leafy vegetables,small sized spices almost dropping from the holes of the basket's design with all those frEsh red meats and freshly winking eyes of those fish LISTED DOWN BY YOUR mOM FOR A SUKI TO PREPARE FOR YOU WHILE YOU DO YOUR SNACKS.GRABE, MAAASAHAN KA TALAGA,HUH.GRABE, BELIEVE NA KO!I KNOW, NOW I CAN TELL MY SKEPTIC SELF NA ID BE ONE OF THOSE WHO CANT BELIEVE YOU ARE SUCH A HANDYMAN.WOW,I LIKE YOUR STORY.IT'S JUST APT FOR A MOM'S DAY AND THAT CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION...WE'LL APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH IF YOU CAN RELATE SOME MORE STORIES OF THOSE OLDEN DAYS.
To Anonymous,
I do not know whether to thank you or not for putting us in a pedestal just because the color of our skin was different than most. High ender? With my Tatay on a government's salary and my Nanay a plain housewife? And farms which did not yield much?
That probably prompted them to inculcate the value of hardwork, honesty and humility on their children, tisoy or not. Reasons why we were able to fend for ourselves when our father died early. Reasons why despite our father's eternal absence all of us finished college. Reasons why we had relative successes in our career paths. Reasons why we continually teach our children, and hopefully, they, who have now their own children, these same values.
There were more than a few times when we asked ourselves, why did our parents come to this place called Nabunturan to face life's harshness, miseries, and adversities when they and their children could have stayed in a big city and avoid the kind of life that you seem to describe as yucky. We could only speculate: they brought us here hoping that we will not only have better lives but, more importantly, we will become better persons.
To ANONYMOUS ::::
WHY COMMENT IF YOU CANT IDENTIFY YOURSELF AS SUCH..NILOLOKO MO LANG SARILI MO...YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER...AND YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS AND BITTER ...just be REAL...cuz i disagree with your comment of the TIROL'S...i believe them to be good family...and a lot of those pioneer family of NABUNTURAN WERE HARDWORKER PEOPLE AND WITH INTEGRITY
I love the black and white photo. It enhances the pure beauty of your Mother.
I was tasked to buy pandesal every morning too. hmm, how I loved the smell of warm freshly baked bread inside the bakery.
I admire those pioneer medical doctors who opted to serve Tagabungtods instead of going to the city: Dr. Edillon who took care of my father. He did house calls at that time; Dr. Tirol who administered rabies vaccine injections to me for 14 days; Dr. de la Paz and Dr. Rolando Layug. I heard Dr. Layug was a board placer if not the top of his class. We were blessed to have them around..and of course there's Dr. Pedro Layug, the town dentist. The other dentist is Dr. Faraon.
Anyone knows the first medical doctor who served Nabunturan?
Dear Peling and Jocelyn,
Thank you very much for your comments.
I agree with you that maybe the reason the second generation or "children of pioneers" had a very good semblance of success is because of the indomitable fighting spirit, the determination to work hard and the premium they placed on education that they imparted.
A large part of what their children have become is also owed to the trailblazing teachers in our elementary and high school years. Come to think of it, we spent more of our growing-up time with these dedicated men and women in our classrooms than we did with our parents at home.
Regarding your question and observation about the medical doctors that came to Nabunturan:
1) Dr. Tirol was the first medical doctor to come to Nabunturan. After the war, he was given by the government the option to work in Davao City because he worked as a resident of the Davao General Hospital before the war broke out. Instead he chose to become "President, Sanitary Division of Compostela"(that was how municipal health officers were then called) until he retired early in 1960. After that he went into private practice. He died 1966.
2) Here's another trivia which I found out only during the 60s: pioneer doctors Edito Tirol, Santiago Edillon, Rolando Layug and Gonzalo dela Paz were all graduates of the UP College of Medicine. Yes, I also learned that Dr. Rolando Layug graduated at the top of his class and was a board topnotcher. His wife, Josefina, was a nurse who graduated from UP, too.
Thanks for your prompt reply. I did not notice it. Wow, all four from UP College of Medicine! Lahi gyod ang values nila kaniadto. They lived a full life, a life of service. We are indeed blessed to have them. How I wished they were still around so I could thank them.
Hi Sir Trino,
Were you also a student of my Tatay, Antipas S Cansancio, in ACN before? Sad but he passed away last year, on April 29th. We celebrated his 78th birthday on the 11th of that same month.
More power to your blog. I miss our old hometown.
Keep on writing..
HI AL ...your Papa was our
CAT instructor in NNCHS..
URDUJA CLASS 1975 @NNCHS
Hi Jo,
How are you? I think 1974-75, I was in 1st year, under Mrs. can't remember now???(former Miss Vegafria). 1975-76, 2nd year our adviser was Mrs. Acebuche. Do you still remember the tree house atop the Acacia near the 1st year building? How is your Mama, she was my adviser in Grade 4, I dont know if she still rememebers me. Tell her that I remember her as a very good adviser and quite pretty too, as all the Quismundo girls are. Your bro, Ruel is a classmate in Grade 1 and a couple of times more sa Central. I am glad that there is a forum for people away from home like us. Send me an email sa office, albert@cityspace.ae para maka padala at receive ng pictures. I still remember you in HS, and di ba may sis ka? Its very nice to hear from you. Please send me a reply. I will visit this link everyday..Regards to All, Albert
I dont really have a vivid memory but all I remember is your Dad with his 2 boys ...and your MOM ...how is she doing...and I am sorry to hear about your Dad...My MOM is doing good in some ways but health wise marami na ring nararamdaman...My brother Bong is in Korea right now..he's married with 2 boys one is in college and the other one is graduating in High school..He's in the US Army supposedly retired but he extended it..I did came and visit Nabunturan in 2006 ..but wasn't able to savor my stay...how I wish I did... but got to visit Mrs. Ador 2nd grade teacher,,Mrs. Templanza my 4th grade teacher..so with my High school teachers...Mrs Isada..Mrs..Lupos..I really wished I stayed longer in Nabunturan...I was so excited when we got to Nabunturan...I just cant contain myself...havent been to Nabunturan since 1980 so that was like after 26 years.. and i was able to see my classmates....it's so fun to see some of them..nagkatiguang na....I regret not being able to visit Mrs. Tomas..my 6th grade teacher..i think she passed away this year...heard about Mr Amatong...that was sad...but it's part of life ...una una lang...his daughter .Araceli was my classmate 1st 3rd and 4th grade...I did visited NNCHS TOO..there were a lot of news things...i was just remeniscing when went there...t'was so funny my reaction when we we're going around Nabunturan...the public market area...it felt like everything shrunk...the streets..cuz when I was in High School even when I was in elementary I was the errand girl....namamalengke....and going back after 26 years it's totally different...well I am glad that we have he tagabuntod website...how I wished they could update pictures and stories about Nabunturan...and more of the pioneers......hopefully I can go back and visit again...well you take care and your family..GOD BLESS ..
Hi Jo,
Thanks for answering my note. I also visited Nabunturan in 2006! We did not stay long, I wish i could attend 1 of these school reunions. We live in Dvao now, nanay passed away a long while back in 1989. I have 2 kids now si Dave 4yr HS, the younger si Almira, Grade 1 pa intawon, both of them naa sa Ateneo.
Going back to Nabunturan,kung kamo ni Araceli batch, kamo pud ba ni Timboy Tulio? Nmatay na diay si Mrs. Tomas, hinay hinay na kawala ang generation nila, sila Mayor, swerte gani sila kay naabot sa very ripe nga age. My teachers were: Gr.1-Mrs. Birondo, classmate nako si Rommel Amatong, Gr.2-Mrs. Amatong, we were her last class before she left teaching kay na Mayor naman si Engr. Amatong adto. I also remember, that year 'man landed on the moon' and it was also an election yr. Osmena vs. Marcos, haha dugaya na adto oy. 1969-70. Gr.3-Mrs. Fonacier, Gr.4-your mama, Gr.5-Mrs. Templanza, Gr.6-Mrs. Blanza. 1st yr ko sa NNCHS 1974-75. There was another sister of yours in HS she was ahead of me, or was it you? Your batch was Tatay's last in NNCHS before he transferred to San Pedro School of Nursing sa Davao, didto na siya nag retire. One of his co-instructors was Mr Edito dela Cruz, former ACN faculty too. I still feel sad sometimes na wala na siya, pero everyone has to go sometime. Daghang kabuang sa childhood sa Nabunturan, and then sa likod sa HS bukid na deretso, lingaw kaayo mga boys. Sino nag yung matanda na nakatira doon na may 'Binignit' stall sa likod ng 2nd yr building? Those were very happy years, so full of memories. And yes its true, the once wide roads, now feel so narrow, murag naanad na man ta sa lapad nga dalan...Please include your email next time you reply. I miss talking to somebody from our old hometown, regards kay Maam. Take Care too.
Yes ...I did have good memories in Nabunturan...my high school days. and my younger years....It's sad too though daghan ng wala ..I mean the older or pioneering generation are little by little passing away..I am based here in California been married for 15 years now..no kids, I would have love to have one but i cant dwell on something i dont have and something that is out of my control ..JUST HAVE TO ENJOY LIFE..but it is a blessing in some ways..knowing i dont have to worry about where my kids are and who are they are hanging out with...even if you have good kids ..they do have to make there choices..either the wrong way or the right way...I have worked in school for this past 6 years...kids are totally different ..there are somethings that is missing...RESPECT AND HONESTY...i even bragged to the school kids that i
NEVER EVER CHEATED...the only reason why i HAVE TO BE GOOD IN SCHOOL IS BECAUSE OF MY DAD..IF NOT I WILL BE IN TROUBLE..but BUUTAN MAN KO ...I REALLY DID ENJOY MY HIGH SCHOOL DAYS...and NABUNTURAN IS ALWAYS IN MY HEART...EVEN if i am this million miles away...NABUNTURAN IS PART OF ME..
Anyways...it's always good to be in touched with people from Nabunturan...even if you are years apart but there's always that common dinominator that make us get acquanted ..it was nice blogging with you..it was funny cuz I dont even know Trino Tirol...but he said something about my Dad..and appreciate everything he said...by the way my email add is dan4jocey@charter.net..well blogg with you later...hope my former classmates will find this place too TAGABUNGTOD..HONESTLY I AM NOT ASHAMED TO BE ONE OF THE TAGABUNGTOD...+)..
This is much too late for the occasion but that was a good one on your Nanay. However, I believe it is not exactly right to say that you were a favorite. After my own mama died and we siblings got to talk about our personal experiences with her, I realized that she had managed to make each one of us feel uniquely special. I thought I was a favorite and my sisters thought they were favorites. Definitely my brother thought he was the favorite. I believe mothers are made to have a heart so big, it could take in everyone of her children and make each one feel special and loved. That is a peak into how the Author of Love must love each one of us more than we can ever imagine. Cheers to my Manong whom I've treated so cruelly all these years according to Do. :)
What Anonymous wrote just shows that you can't win them all. There'd always be someone ready to jump with glee when you're down.
I agree with Manang about how mothers have a way of showing their love for their children and that a mother's heart is just too enormous to even play favorites.
But in fairness to Tagabungtod, he did say : "I love to think that I was one of her favorites." Therefore, that may not necessarily hold water, simply his fantasy/wish or his mother did succeed in making him feel that way despite and inspite of his nature at that age and being just one out of several children.
This article of Tagabungtod is a tribute to his mother and Mother's Day itself. If there's a slight chance that you are a mother ANONYMOUS, then you would understand that. Then again, if you are, i pity the children that you have. The sarcasm and bitterness that reeks out of you are so unpleasant that I can confidently say you are one of those Tagabungtods who probably do not like their lives. Therefore, you find it fun to ridicule those who have done nothing to you. Didn't your mother ever teach to say nothing when you have nothing substantial to say? Kawawa ka naman.
And to make Nabunturan sound like a God-forsaken place, well, you don't sound like a Tagabungtod at all. If you are and have an axe to grind with someone, take your business (and mouth) elsewhere.
People like ANONYMOUS should never ever be given even a slice of attention but there are moments like this. And I was seriously disgusted with the way you twisted the words and story.
Padayon Tagabungtod! A lot of us enjoy reading your blogs. Yang mga seloso/a diyan, manahimik!
May reklamo lang ako....the blogs are few and far in between.
To the rest of the Tagabungtods, why not drop in an article or two of Nabunturan? There are a lot of good writers amongst us. If I remember correctly, the older brother of Tagabungtod is a journalist, right?
More power to you!
Dear Tagabungtod,
I grew up in Nabunturan also and it was just about 2 weeks ago that I stumbled on the website. I enjoyed reading the articles/comments, especially "Our Generation" (is the author from Nabunturan?)and "Nanay". I now often visit the website for new articles/messages and am still in the process of reading all the other comments. Hope Tagabuntod's blogsite will draw more readership/reactions from among Nabunturanons.
To Anonymous, I agree with jgerathy when he/she said "why comment when you cannot identify yourself". Otherwise, if it appears that you have a personal grudge with the author as could be gleaned from your comments, then deal with him/her personally not via this blogsite which, to my understanding, is just starting to establish the roots of Nabunturan in the intenet - a laudable effort indeed - through the good-spirited Nabunturanons who are still around and willing to share their memories of their hometown.
Mayong
To Mario Fonacier ...were you related to Mrs Fonacier..who was my 3rd grade teacher in NCES...from 1967 to 1968...wow tiguang na gyod ko..ha ha ha.....anyways was just curios...
yup, she was our mother and indeed a Grade 3 teacher, died last 2005. Being a son of a public school teacher, my surroungdings then were teachers some of whom i can still name from memory. but, let's leave that to a latter period. Your mom was also teacher, di ba?
Oops, my reply to jgeraghty seems to have fallen under the sender "Anonymous". Am not "anonymous", t'was a mistake.
Mayong
to mario..i did visit nabunturan 2006 that was a year short when your Mom passed away...she was a good teacher...and I am so sorry to hear about that....well she lived a long life..yes my MOM was a teacher too...she's doing well..inspite of her age..she will be 83 this year...anyways
promatHi Trino,
Just "stumbled" on this blog by chance and I love your piece about your Nanay. Yep, it's more than a year since its posting pero unsaon nga karon lang ko napandol dire sa blogsite nimo.
Your Nanay did an excellent job of rearing her brood judging from the excellent way you all grew up... all very warm, decent and principled human beings.
I had the chance to meet your Nanay for the first time in one of my visits to Nabunturan as DTI Provincial Director of Davao Province( before the division kadto) to check on our on-going livelihood projects in some barrios/barangays there, and I was impressed by her quiet strength. She looked fragile yet strong at the same time, and was very dignified while partaking of the meal your sister Inday Jo gave her.
I could not imagine her tying you up to a bedpost with a sinulid and you not breaking out of it. I guess that was the case of the threat being stronger than the "chain". :)
I'm sure many in our generation felt the brunt of the Kinatsila discipline hang-over of their parents... yours from your Tatay, for one, from your narrative. I had my share of the "Spare the rod and spoil the child" syndrome too, when I was growing up, and I'm sure kadtong mga nanagko sa '50s nakatilaw pod sa ilang own version of the Spanish legacy of tough love!
I went over some other articles and you can, indeed, write, Migo.
Your blog is worth visiting, and many names are very familiar due to my stint as DAP consultant for Nabunturan.
Keep up the excellent outpouring of your literary juices. It feels good to know how Nabunturan was in the past, but I also would love to read about Nabunturan Now...sort of update,kinta, panagsa.( I was horrified about the trees that were felled down, though).
Congrats, Trino! Write on...Buddy!
I wondered what happened... my comments went under "Anonymous". Basin naay koy natuplok nga di mao. :)